To complete the Mini-Map digitally, download the PDF and open it in a PDF reader such as Adobe Acrobat Reader. You may also print it and complete it by hand.

How to Use It

Choose one recent disagreement that felt familiar.

It does not need to be your biggest fight.

Then work through the mini-map one step at a time:

• notice what happened

• identify the meaning you made of the moment

• name the protective move you made next

• notice how your partner responded

• pay attention to what their response meant to you

• look for how the pattern began repeating

You are not trying to figure out who started it or who is the problem.

The goal is simply to begin seeing:

“Oh...this is what happens between us.”

Once you can recognize the cycle, you have a better chance of interrupting it.

Ready to Understand the Whole Pattern?

If this mini-map helped you recognize a familiar cycle between you, Same Fight 101 takes you further.

In the course, you’ll learn how to:

• identify the Protective Cycle that keeps repeating

• recognize the moves each of you makes when you feel activated

• understand the messages your protective moves may send

• catch the cycle earlier

• slow things down before protection takes over

• begin practicing new moves that create more connection

The goal is not to stop having disagreements.

It is to keep the disagreement from turning into the same fight over and over again.

EXPLORE SAME FIGHT 101 →